My mother had called me on June 10th to tell me she wasn't feeling well she thought that she may be getting a virus or the flu. She said she was getting pains in her stomach and couldn't eat in fear she would not be able to keep her food down. I told her to go to the doctor because it sounded like the flu. We were concerned because this coincided with the time the swine flu was being diagnosed in our area. My father took my mother to the doctor and the doctor ran some blood work and told her the same a thing we all thought it was the stomach flu. He couldn't give her any medication because she had not eaten so he sent her home to let the virus run its course and wait for the blood work to come in. The next day my father called and said my mother was suffering from shooting pains down her leg and stomach pains. My sister called the doctor again and the nurse, told my sister to give her a couple of advil (not sure if that was the type of pill she recommended but something along that line) and see how she does. My sister was upset because my mother pain was increasing as time went by and she knew she needed something more powerful for the pain and asked to speak with the doctor. The doctor was not in that day so my sister asked to speak with the doctor on call. The nurse was very uncooperative and never called the doctor on call for us.

The pain down my mothers leg was getting very bad. My mother was in physical therapy for an auto accident she was in a few months prior. So I told my dad it sounds like her sciatica and to take some Ben Gay and rub her lower back hopefully to alleviate some of the discomfort. By about 8:00 p.m. my mother had started to pace and cry because the pain was immense. She kept refusing to go to the hospital. By 9:00 p.m. my father was beside himself with worry he called me again and I told him to just call the ambulance do not take her in the car to the emergency room because they will only make her wait and this had become an EMERGENCY. I also made sure he took her to the more reputable hospital in their area. I grew up in the small town of Wallington NJ and grew up with many of the EMT and firefighters in my town. Within 1 minute of my dad's phone call the EMT's were at my parents house. They rushed her to Hackensack hospital. Hackensack saw the severity of my mothers pain and took her in right away. The surgeon there told my father and sister to go home because it was going to take sometime to figure out what my mother had but that it definitely was not her sciatica causing the pain.

About an hour after my father was told to go home he received a phone call from the surgeon stating he had to rush my mother into emergency surgery that he found something on the MRI in her stomach. My father was in disbelief. He told the surgeon "you have to have the wrong women. My wife was fine just a couple of days ago". The surgeon was very understanding of my fathers disbelief and told him he needed to get back to the hospital right away. My sister, brother in law and father rushed back to the hospital. Upon their arrival the surgeon gave my family the horrible news. There was nothing he could do to save my mother. He explained my mother had Necrotizing Fasciitis and it was the worst case he had seen in all his years as a surgeon. He had removed part of my mothers stomach which seemed to be the area where the Necrotizing Fasciitis started. When he opened my mother up her leg had died and the NF had already spread to the other leg and her stomach muscles.

I arrived at the hospital and when I came off the elevator I saw my families face and knew something was very wrong. I didn't accept just giving up on my mother so I asked the surgeon what our options were. I told him in today's world with all our technology he couldn't expect me to just give up one her. He proceeded to tell me what he would have to do to TRY and save her and it was horrifying! He told me what the infection was and that it had to be cut out of the body in order to stop it. He explained that he would have to amputate my mothers leg, remove her abdominal muscles and part of her other leg. He told me she would most likely not survive that kind of surgery and she would need countless surgeries after that only to be bed ridden and in need of 24 hour care because with out your abdomen muscles you can't do anything for yourself. He also explained that if she did survive the operation she would never be mentally sound with all the that had to be done to her. He said in a round about way just to "let him make her comfortable".

My mother had a living will and my father told the surgeon he couldn't allow him to "cut her up". She would have never forgave us if we chose to do so. My mother was a very dignified women she could never have lived that way. I thank God we had a surgeon who was aware of Necrotizing Fasciitis. He tried his best to save her but it was everywhere. He explained that he could see the infection running through her right there on the operating table. The hospital was amazing in the compassion they showed us and how they took care of us.

When they moved my mother to a recovery room the doctor allowed my younger sister and I to go in to see her. We all agreed that we would not tell her she was dying if she woke up. When I entered the room it was as if my heart had been ripped out of my chest. I couldn't believe that just 5 days earlier I was dancing and smiling with my mother and now I had to say a forever goodbye to her. My mother woke up just for about 45 seconds. She looked at me and I asked her if she knew I loved her she shook her head yes and I told her she would be ok and to rest. I moved out of the way so my younger sister could get her moment with her because we were the two who hadn't got the chance to see her while she was conscious. After my sister told her she loved her my mother went into a coma. The hospital allowed ALL of my aunts and uncles and cousins to come to her bedside. There had to be over 20 people in the room with her. The grievance counselor told us there was a lot of love in that room that day.

I think details of how people lost their loved ones to Necrotizing Fasciitis is important. It is hard enough to loose a loved one but when you have to loose them to such a mutilating and RARE infection it is devastating beyond anyone's imagination. I have been told so many times about how rare this is. To me it doesn't matter if it's rare it need to be addressed. We need to understand where it starts and why this happens. The uncertainty is just as devastating to me as the NF.

I have read and read and read to try and understand WHY and HOW this happens. If this happens to one person than its one person to many! My mother was a giving and loving women she didn't deserve to die this way. There needs to be more public awareness. People and DOCTORS need to be more sensitive to the signs of NF and not right it off to a flu or virus, they need to take a second to look a little deeper. We will always be burdened by the "If we only made her go to the hospital sooner would she have survived". I never thought I would be one of the people affected by NF but I am. I will continue to tell my mothers story to anyone who wants to hear it.

You deal with immense loss not only loosing the life of a loved one but the shock and suddenness of the loss, the nightmares of how they passed and the aftermath of constant uncertainties of what could have been done when it comes to dealing with NF. Thank you for giving people that are affected by NF a place to go to tell their story.